What Could Have Been
by youraturtleharry
Summary: Set at Prom. What happens after things went down a little differently between Derek and Meredith. What happens when Addison still ends up finding the panties in Derek's jacket but handles the situation differently? Meredith/Addison Fanfic. Slight other pairings along the way but not many.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy**_

 _ **A/N:So this fanfic is set at prom. What happens after things went down a little differently between Derek and Meredith. What happens when Addison still ends up finding the panties in Derek's jacket but reacts differently?**_

 _ **I don't know how long this story will be but I don't plan on it being that long. It will be a Meredith/Addison story but there will be slight other pairings along the way. Meredith/Addison has always been that once ship that is so unrealistic on the show that it seems like it could have been possible.**_

 _ **Let's get into this shall we?**_

Meredith's POV: Prom Night

What am I doing? I am currently in an exam room alone with Derek and ever since he said the word wife I can't get her out of my head. The weirdest part of it all is that I don't feel guilty about it. Oh god now he's taking my panties off. I have been waiting for this to happen ever since he picked her and now I don't even want this. "Derek stop."

"Stop what?"

"This. You and me. It cannot happen." Why am I saying this. This is all I have wanted, but not anymore.

"Why?"

"Because you have a _wife_ and I have _Finn_ and in case you forgot Finn has plans." But do I even want to experience his plans let alone know what they are?

"I will leave Addison and you can leave Finn. I love you Meredith. I always have ever since I met you at Joe's."

"No Derek. I won't let you ruin Addison because of me." I cannot believe I heard those three words come out of his mouth and why aren't I happier to hear them? "I um.. Have to go Derek. Let's just forget what almost happened here." I don't understand myself and why I walked… no ran out of that room. Away from Derek. I heard him tell me not to go right before I walked out of the room. I took me until now that I'm back out with everyone to realize I don't have my panties on- what the hell am I going to do? I can't just go up to him and ask for them back. And that is if he even has them. They could still be in that exam room somewhere and so could Derek. I have to get out of here before anything else happens to me.

Addison's POV: Morning After Prom

After Derek came home last night I could tell something was different with him. The way he just came home changed and said he was going back to the hospital. So I decided to be nice and wash what he wore last night to prom. What I found in the pocket of his jacket broke my heart- but not because of the fact that Derek cheated on me at the prom- it's more about who they belong to. I don't know why but the idea of his hands all over Meredith's makes me shudder.

Every once in awhile I get these thoughts about Meredith. I don't know what to do about them. I get a feeling i never felt before when I am around her and I can't help but wonder if she feels the same sometimes.

I know what will happen if I confront Derek. He will just brush me off. So I have to go to the hospital, find Meredith, and confront her myself. Before I know it I am standing outside the hospital nervous as to what may happen.

After searching the hospital I can't seem to find her. So i do what I probably should have done in the beginning, go to my office and page her. I see her nervously walking towards my office and I can already tell what is going to happen.

"You paged Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd."

"Yes Meredith I did. Why don't you have a seat, you will probably want to."

"Is this about -"

I pull out her panties that are in a clear bag out of my bag and place it on the table."If you are about to ask about these then yes. I would like to know why these were in my husband's jacket and why he only came home for a minute last night." I can see the look on her face and can tell that something is off.

"Well Addison do you want the whole truth or do you want what you want to hear?"

Honestly I don't know what i want to hear. "Truth."

"Okay well last night when I was dancing with Finn and you were dancing with Derek he wouldn't stop looking at me. I needed to get away and that's exactly what I did. Except he followed me and cornered me in the exam room. I told him to leave me alone and all he could say was my name. But the conversation went a little like this I said 'Just leave me alone.' and then he said' I just wanted to make sure you're alright.' And then I said 'No I am not alright. Okay? Are you satisfied? I'm not alright because you have a wife and you call me a whore-"

I cannot believe what I just heard. "Wait he called you a whore? Him. The one who forgot to mention that he had a wife on the other side of the country?"

"Yes but let me finish then we can talk about it. So I continued '- and our dog died and now you're looking at me. Stop looking at me.' And then he went on to say 'I'm not looking at you.' It basically went back and forth for a while and he went on to say how he doesn't want to look at me because he has you and he has responsibilities. And then I turned around."

"Do I need to know this part?" I really hope she skips over details I don't need to know the specifics of my husband and the person I have feelings for having sex.

"It's not bad trust me. Well once I turned around the next thing I know we are kissing. But when this is happening there's something- more like someone- on my mind."

"Who, Finn?"

"No. But then he reaches down and takes this off."

I look to where she is pointing and I am really starting to doubt whether or not I want to hear this.

"Once he takes this off I realize the mistake we were making and I pulled away and told him to stop.I tried to reason with him and explain how I couldn't hurt you anymore than I already have and I ran away from the room and back out where everyone was. And I am assuming he grabbed this and put it in his jacket. I'm so sorry Addison."

"What did you mean by you couldn't hurt me anymore than you already have?" I can hear my heart start to beat faster with the hope that Meredith feels the same way.

"Well you know how I said there was someone on my mind and it wasn't Derek or Finn?"

I just sit there silent and nod my head.

"It was you. I couldn't get you out of my head and I haven't been able to since. Ever since you showed up whenever I am around you I get this feeling. I don't know how to describe this feeling but I know it's not bad. I don't know what it means or anything but what I do know is that I am starting to ramble and you should probably shut me up because I probably sound really stupid right now."

"Meredith you don't sound stupid because I have been feeling the same exact way with the same exact feelings."

"So what does this mean?"

That is a great question and I don't know if what I am about to say will blow up in my face if she rejects me"Well Derek is clearly in love with you and I now plan on getting a divorce with him. It means you have a choice to make. Him or me. I know it may seem really fast I know but Meredith I think I love you. If you choose me we can go to L.A. and find jobs at another hospital. We don't have to tell people the real reason why we are leaving. We can say we both needed to get away from Derek and it's something that is completely believable."

"Okay."

"Okay what?"

"I choose you. You can go get papers drawn up for you and Derek and I can do a couple things I need to do before we go talk to the chief."

I cannot believe what I am hearing. She is actually choosing me over Derek. Me who was the person who came in and swooped Derek away from their happy bubble. All I do know is that I need to get the papers drawn fast and get packing.

 _ **A/N: I took the little speech that Derek said to Meredith at the end of the episode when he tells her to pick between him and Finn and changed it up a bit. I honestly just sat down today and got inspired to write this story. Let me know what you think of it and leave a review.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: So I am writing this chapter right after the first one so if you reviewed with feedback changes won't be made until after this chapter. Thank you everyone for reading. I appreciate it. And for the sake of the story Denny never existed.**_

Richards POV His Office:

Meredith and Addison said they wanted it speak to me - together - and I don't know what to think of it. I heard the gossip of there being issues between Derek and Addison but I never would have thought it would push Meredith and Addison closer. I thought the exact opposite really. But here I am waiting for them to come into my office and if on cue I hear a knock at the door. "Come in."Addison is the first to speak and I am not surprised. I see Meredith holding a folder and I cant imagine whats in it.

"Richard as you probably have heard Derek and I have been having some issues and same with Derek and Meredith. Through these times Meredith and I have realised that we can lean on each other and that is why we are here today. We both will be handing in our resignations along with other letters and papers for others who work at the hospital. You are probably wondering if there are divorce papers for Derek in the folder and to answer your question, yes there are. Meredith and I have agreed that if you absolutely need me for a consult that both of us will come back for the case and then be back on our way. It is only fair to extend this offer because of our sudden request to transfer. We would like for you to transfer us to St. Ambrose hospital and now I am going to let Meredith talk because she has a few things to ask of you."

"Wow thats a lot to take in. Are you two sure?" I don't understand how one man has managed to make two people want to be so far from him they are going states away. This time it was Meredith to respond to my question.

"Yes Chief we are sure. We know this may come as a shock to everyone but it is for the best. I have one request for you and that is for you to every once in awhile check in on my mother since i will be unable to do so. A request that we both have is that you wait to distribute what is in this folder until tomorrow when we are gone and that you do not disclose where we are going to anyone. We informed one person on their paper our location and how to get a hold of us if needed and they know not to give it out. We would appreciate if you did the same no matter how persistent people may be."

Right away I know they are talking about Derek. I understand why too. I have heard all the stories and if I was either one I would want to do the same thing. _Run._ So no matter how hard it may be to do what I am about to do I say it anyway."Okay."

Richards POV. The Next Day Conference Room

I paged all attendings and residents as well as interns who were around Meredith often. This conference room is packed and I can tell some people are wondering where Addison and Meredith are.

"I bet you all are wondering why I pages you here today. Yesterday I was approached by two doctors who I have been close with for a long time. They handed my a folder that held both of their resignations and requests for transfers along with other things for some of you that are here today. I was informed that only myself and one person who is told in this folder on a piece of paper the location of their transfer. The said person is under strict rules as to who they are allowed to tell where they are and how to get ahold of them. I do not know when or if they will ever return to Seattle Grace. Once I state the names of the doctors who transferred I would like for doctors Yang, Shepherd, O'Malley, Stevens, Karev, and Bailey to stay as there are papers for you."I can see faces starting to fall and some of them are starting to realise who I am talking about. "The two doctors that have left are Neonatal/OB-GYN Specialist Dr. Addison Montgomery and surgical intern Meredith Grey."

Derek's POV

I think my world is coming crashing down. I just lost the woman I stayed with to be the better person and the woman that I love at the same time and I didn't even get a real good bye. And then I hear the chief speak again as he hands me a pile of papers and I instantly know what the top papers are. Divorce papers and underneath is a letter from Meredith.

"These are for you. And for the record I never will forgive you for driving both of them off."

I can see everyone glaring at me because they know it's my fault that they are both gone. I continue to watch Richard as he hands Bailey and the remaining of her interns each letters of their own. I know what is written on the divorce papers and Immediately go to read the letter and I see everyone else is doing the same thing.

 _Dear Derek,_

 _I know you may be upset after what happened after prom but if you were in my shoes you would understand. That night was the night I realized I would never be able to love you the same way I did when we first met. There was a bond that was broken and it could never be fixed. That doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore it just changed into a different form of love._

 _I don't want you to wait for me. I don't know if or when I will be back but what I do know is that the chapter of you and me together is done forever. I also don't want you interrogating everyone else that got a letter and the chief to find out where I am. I am safe and am going to be around good people. I don't want you to try chase after me because there isn't anything for you to find. I am not running away I am simply starting a chapter in my life that will hopefully make it to the end._

 _There will always be part of me that loves you Derek, It may not be that all consuming love but it is there,_

 _Meredith_

Yeah my world is definitely ending and now all I think about is how it all could have been if I would have never chosen Addison over Meredith. Or gave Addison divorce papers when I was still in New York.

Cristina POV

I see him sitting there reading over a letter that I assume is from Meredith because I have one in my hand as well. I am ready to kill him for driving my person away to LA. Yeah I was the one that was told where they went. It all is still so unreal. The fact she is gone and why she is gone and who she is with. I reread the letter she left me again because I know if I don't I really will get up and attack that bastard.

 _My Person Cristina,_

 _I know this may come to a shock to you. It is all still a shock to me. By the time you are reading I will already be gone. I assume you know we don't want people to know where we are. Oh yeah I am with Addison. We are headed to LA. If you need to get ahold of us contact the St. Ambrose Hospital there. You are allowed to inform Alex, George,Izzie and Bailey where we are. Discretely. We don't want Derek to know. We know he will try to find us. Make sure the others know as well._

 _I hope you don't hate me for leaving. It is for the best. I needed to get away from him and the craziness of Seattle Grace. You will always be my person but I understand if what I have done causes me to no longer be yours. Addison and I informed Richard of the fact that if he absolutely needed one of us for a consult that he could contact us. I would like for you to keep that to yourself so the others don't hound the chief when he needs an outside consult. I knew if i tried to say goodbye face to face to all of you I wouldn't be able to follow through with this plan. Other than myself Derek and Addison are the only ones who know exactly what happened on prom night. If you want to know ask Derek to tell you and say I wanted you all to know._

 _You will always be my person,_

 _Meredith_

It is a short letter but it says so much. I know in my heart that what she did is best for her and she will always be my person. I understand why she didn't say a real goodbye and it just makes me hate Shepherd even more. I see Alex, George and Izzie all reading off of one paper and I wonder why that is but I don't want to question it.

Alex, George and Izzie Letter No POV:

 _Dear Alex, George and Izzie,_

 _First off I apologize for not giving you each an individual letter. I am running low on time before I have to leave soon. I want you all to know that you guys had nothing to do with me wanting to leave. I don't even know if I truly want to leave. I just know I need to because it is the best choice for me in the long run. I love all of you guys so much. I am with Addison and we both just needed to get away from Derek and all of the drama that comes from Seattle Grace. Addison and I realized just how much we could lean on each other because of the fact of being pushed and pulled by the same man just on opposite sides. I know you all probably hate me for leaving and I understand why. I want all three of you to live in the house. There is no reason for me leaving to cause you guys to move out. That's the intern hotel and you guys run it. You all will find out where I am soon and I have two wishes. One is that you don't come after me and the other is please do not tell anyone. We don't need anyone else coming after us either._

 _I miss you guys already and I hope for the best for all of you,_

 _Meredith_

Alex was the only one to speak after they all finished."I can't believe she's gone. It seems so unreal."

Bailey's POV:

I don't know what to think when I stare at this letter. I can't bring myself to read it. The fact that reading it makes it all real. But I know I have to.

 _Dear Bailey,_

 _Firstly I would like to thank you for teaching me all that you have. You are the person I looked up to at my time in Seattle. Not only as a surgeon but as a person. You don't let people stand in your way but you also have a heart. That is something hard to come by in a person. Looking back I originally thought about how you told me not to get involved with an attending. I thought that you were right and then I kept thinking about it. If I never got involved with Derek my life would be so different. I wouldn't be who I am today and I would never give up all the memories I have made and all the friendships I have made. You will find out where I am, I am with Addison as well, but we have a request that you keep quiet about our location and that you do not come after us._

 _You are truly an inspiration and I hope for the best for your career and your personal life,_

 _Meredith_

 _ **A/N: So that is the end of the chapter. Next chapter there will be a timehop but with the timehops there will be flashbacks. I hope you guys liked this chapter. I don't usually change POV so much in a chapter but I wanted to get all the letters out in one chapter.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: So like I said at the end of last chapter. There is a timehop but there will also be flashbacks. I apparently am on a role with writing this because I just keep going. 3 chapters written in one day. I will try to space chapters out by posting 1 a day because I usually cannot write this much in one day and I would rather write when i can without the pressure of needing to force a chapter out.**_

4 Years Later outside SGH Addison's POV:

I don't know if I am more nervous for walking in holding hands with Meredith or the fact that we have Michael with us. He may only be three but it could be interesting how he is introduced to everyone.

"Ready to go inside Addison?"

"Yeah I am just a little nervous. Seeing Derek again and everything."

"I feel the same way. We can do this." Before I can think another word we are already walking inside the hospital.

"Mommy I have to go potty."

"I can take him Addison why don't you go up and we will meet you?"

"Sounds good." Right when Meredith and Andrew walk away I get in the elevator and I don't know why I don't feel as nervous. Maybe it's just the fact of seeing everyone again plus with Meredith was too much for me. Luckily the elevator is empty the whole way up. But what I see when i get off is something I never expected. Everyone is here to see me.

"Addie long time no see. How are things going?"

"Pretty good Richard, and I can tell you are wondering about a certain two people and yes, they are good and they are both here. One of them had to make a quick stop."

"That's great to hear."

As I get caught up in welcome backs and hellos I hear one of my favorite voices calling for me. It's now or never I guess. It's time to rip the bandaid off.

"Mama!"

"Hi Mikey. Where's Mommy?"

"She is coming. She told me where to find you. She wanted me to come see you first. I don't know why though." I have a feeling that since it's gone quiet everyone noticed the whole Mama and Mommy thing. Although maybe Meredith has a plan since she sent him by himself first. I am kinda glad.

"So Addison… Mama and Mommy?"

"Yeah Callie. I will explain it all to everyone when she gets here. It's kinda a long story."

"Well that's great. You seem happy. So do you work with her?"

I am kinda surprised that she seems completely normal with the fact that I said she. Maybe there's more to this story with her.

"Uh yeah she is a resident actually. I think you all will like her." I shoot Richard a look because of how funny this will be.

"Mommy!" I see Mikey jump out of Richard's arms and run towards Meredith and that's when I hear Cristina.

"Meredith?! Mommy?! Care to explain what the hell is going on?"

"Yes Cristina I will just give me a second." I am genuinely surprised with the fact of how calm she is but I am even more surprised when she walks up to me holding Mikey and kisses me quickly on the lips and all around is a sea of gasps.

Meredith's POV:

I knew we had to just get everything out of the open and that's why I did this. I hope addison isn't mad. "You want the quick version or the long version?" knowing Cristina she will want the long version or Izzie will chime in and say it.

"Long version." Damn that wasn't a voice I was expecting but I knew Derek would find out anyways.

"Okay… It all really starts the night of the prom 4 years ago. I was dancing with Finn and Derek and Addison were dancing together. Derek kept staring at me and I couldn't take it anymore so I ran off. But Derek followed me and next thing I know him and I are in an exam room. It starts with talking but then it turns into kissing and almost something more but I couldn't let myself do that. I couldn't do that because I couldn't hurt Addison like that. But it had gone far enough that my panties were off. I didn't realize it until I was back out with everyone. The next morning I was paged to Addison's office and she had them in a bag. She got them from Derek's jacket and -" Of course Cristina feels the need to interrupt at this part.

"Wait, you are telling me that Derek didn't even try to hide them?"

"I guess not. Now let me continue… well Addison thought I had slept with him and then I explained everything. It turns out she had had the same feelings that I was having. We decided it was best that if we were going to try something that we would leave. That's exactly what we did.

Everything was great between us for the first couple months and then we had a big argument about the fact that I wasn't sure if I wanted kids or not. We broke up and I did what I know how the best… Get drunk and screw a random guy. Well I ended up pregnant. Luckily he left his number and I had kept it for some reason and I called him and told him. He wanted nothing to do with the baby and once Mikey here was born he signed off all his parental rights. When I was pregnant Addison and I got back together because I discovered that it wasn't that I didn't want kids. It was that I was scared. Ever since then everything has been great. We don't really ever argue." I think I said everything there is to say. Maybe I should ask Addison. "Anything you want to add Addison?"

"Yeah there is one thing actually and it's pretty important."

Shit what did I forget now?

"Meredith and I are happy together. If anyone you don't like it then you can deal with it and grow up."

Derek's POV:

I get why Meredith said what she said to me now. She wasn't in love with me anymore. The problem is that I am still in love with her. I have to play my cards right i guess. "I think if anyone here is allowed or not like this is me. But it doesn't mean I don't support you two either."

"Really Derek? Meredith and I were ready for you to not want to talk to us."

"I mean it's weird. Like _really_ weird but I will live." Lies. "I have a patient that I need to go prep for surgery. I will talk to you guys later."

Meredith's POV:

Wow. That was unexpected.

"Am i the only one that finds that weird. The fact he is okay with Meredith and I together?"

Apparently I am not the only one that thinks that. "You took the words right out of my head."

"Sorry to interrupt Mer but considering I am your person and you never told me about this can I talk to you in private?" Damn I knew she would want to do this. Why did she have to do this now though.

"Yeah sure let's go.I guess we can go into the supply closet."

"Mer how the hell did that happen and why am I just finding this out now?"

"You know how it happened and we decided not to tell anyone."

"Not just about being together but you didn't even tell me about your feelings when you were here."

"Cristina it's not that I didn't want to tell you it was just that i didn't know how to tell you. I was also scared as to how you would react to me coming up to you and saying 'Hey so I think I have feelings for Derek's ex wife that took my mclife.' How would you have reacted to that?"

"Okay I get your point but it still hurts. I may have not reacted well but I always will support you. You knew that."

I don't know what to say to her honestly. I try to hide my happiness when I get a get a text from Addison.

" _Meet me in front of the nurses station on 4?"_

" _Yeah I will be right up."_ "She wants me to meet her at the nurses station on 4. Wanna come?"

"Sure."

When we get on the elevator Derek is the only one in it and there is an awkward silence. That is until he break it.

"So Meredith, how long are you going to keep the act up?"

"What act?"

"The act where you pretend not to love me anymore." Before I have time to react he pulls me into his arms and is kissing me. Right when I go to push him away the elevator doors open and Addison is standing there.

"What the hell Meredith? How could you do this to me?"

"Addison please let me explain what happened."

"Explain what happened? I caught you and Derek kissing in the elevator that's what happened. I don't want to hear your excuses. Maybe you should just stay in Seattle instead of coming back to LA."

I cannot believe what I am hearing. "Addison plea-"

"No Meredith. Just leave me alone." I know I won't get anywhere if I keep trying to talk to her so I do the one thing I really don't want to do. Walk away.

 _ **A/N: Sooooo Derek is still clearly in love with Meredith. Just remember that Derek and Meredith weren't alone in that elevator…**_

 _ **Jackiiiieeee11: Thank you so much for reviewing. I know how you feel about the whole only reading MerDer. That's I how I used to be and then Meddison really started to grow on me. I kinda went through phases though lol. MerDer to MerMark to Meddison. And I agree with you on the refusing to read Addek.**_


	4. Update

UPDATE: So sorry that it has literally been MONTHS since i updated both of my greys fan fictions. Junior year of high school is completely kicking my ass. I have a really bad time prioritizing things and i struggled a lot keeping up with school even without writing. This upcoming term my classes are not as challenging and have a smaller work load so I should be able to continue both of my stories. Again I am really sorry.


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